Monday, November 19, 2007

NaBloPoMo Day Nineteen - Fun Monday Embarrassment

It's that time again! This week's host for Fun Monday is Karisma, and it's her first time to host! WOOHOO! She wanted us to take a trip down memory lane, right back to our childhood. "And I want to hear "THAT STORY". You remember the one? Yes, you do! The one your parents, siblings, extended family or friends, would never let you forget, live down or get over!"

I had to think long and hard about the "most" embarrassing moment - after all, when you go thru middle school with buck teeth? Every day is pretty embarrassing. Remember Bowzer from "Sha Na Na?" My mother has a photo of me doing an impression of him, mouth wide open, bicep flexed. She showed it to The Offspring on our last trip to California, and if I HAD that photo, no - I still wouldn't be posting it. But the kid? She laughed her rear off, and can't believe Roger still married me, knowing I had the capability to be so gross.
I was a "goody two shoes" as a kid (don't worry, I made up for it in college), the least likely to EVER get into trouble. Except maybe for talking. When I was in the third grade, we had an 'alternative' activity, due to rainy weather. P.E. was not held, and all the girls would crowd into a metal building to watch movies. I was sitting near the front, while our P.E. teachers ran the movie projector in the back. Some of us were talking and giggling, and abruptly, one of our P.E. teachers shut down the film, and asked, "Is it my ears, or is someone talking up there?"
For some strange reason, I wrongly assumed that everyone would answer, "It's just your ears!" So, I loudly proclaimed that fact, and realized that my voice was the only one, shouting into the dead silence of the room. I was mortified! In those days, spanking in school was still allowed, and I found myself in the hallway, about to face THE PADDLE. The male P.E. coach had made it special - lots of tiny holes "to let the steam escape" - wrapped in tape, and ready for my tail end.
The inevitable next part of the story? Me, breaking down into hysterics - begging not to be paddled - trying to explain that I thought EVERYONE was just going to say it - making a "funny" - and guess what? I didn't get paddled.
But the worst part? The faces of the teachers in the hallway - as they passed me waiting there. The looks from students who had not been in the room, wondering what on EARTH I could have done. Even some satisfied smirks as they passed - that finally someone like ME was gonna "get it."
Now go check out all the Fun Monday stories! I can't WAIT!

39 comments:

Real Live Lesbian said...

Like you, I ALMOST got paddled once, but talked my way out of it. I was FRAMED!

Great job hosting!

thefoodsnob said...

Wow, sounds like the 'walk' was the worse part.
Thanks for sharing!

Lisa

Beckie said...

I remember those paddles - we had one at my middle school with a mean vice principal to go with it.

Alix said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alix said...

sorry had to delete my first comment it was so illiterate - I need more tea. Anyway lets try again.

I can imagine how you felt when your voice rang out alone! I'm glad you didn't get paddled that thing looks horrible. I can't believe they used it on children!

Melissa said...

Oh my god. How mortifying! I'm glad you didn't get paddled. :)

Karmyn R said...

How FUNNY - yet totally embarrassing. It seems like I would have done something like that.

Sauntering Soul said...

Too funny! My elementary school principal had the same paddle with holes in it except his was covered in red paint. Everyone knew when someone had been paddled when his hand had a strange red tint to it.

I only got to see the paddle once and I wasn't in trouble. I broke my arm at recess and had to sit in the principal's office until I was picked up to go to the hospital. I remember thinking that a broken arm and going to the hospital was way less scary than that red paddle.

Sandy said...

We did not have the paddle. The nuns had those horrid metal edged wooden rulers. Luckily, I was a big enough teacher's pet to never get hit with it!

The Rotten Correspondent said...

I think I would have died. Just the thought of the paddle would have done it.

Shudder.

Tiggerlane said...

real live lesbian - sometimes, those talking skills come in handy!

thefoodsnob - I was so ashamed - it was humiliating.

beckie - I'll bet they don't exist much anymore.

alix - Yeah - I was shocked, and then mad that my classmates weren't smart alecky like me!

melissa - you know, I probably deserved it for other transgressions...

karmyn r - we would have been friends in school, I'm sure! Double the trouble!

sauntering soul - I can imagine! I wonder if it left red on the pants, too? Or did they do bare-heinie paddling? I remember some kids at our school saying they would pull the pants down - seems like that would be TORTURE in today's schools!

sandy - nuns sound REALLY mean - I remember those kinds of rulers!

the rotten correspondent - I think that's why I started crying and babbling like a fool - just the THOUGHT of that paddle frightened me!

Robocop said...

I remember those paddles. One of my teachers even had a switch with thorns on it. What fond childhood memories.

Robin said...

Tiggerlane, I sooo felt your pain; I grew up when paddling was allowed also and lived in fear of it (which is crazy, b/c I was a goody two-shoes, too. Chatty, yes, but well behaved otherwise).

And your post reminded me about what I SHOULD have posted (maybe I'll save that just for fun :/).

This is a GREAT lesson that a little dramatic performance can be used to your advantage...I'm thinking traffic stops right about now ;).

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

I remember the ONE time I ever got in trouble it was for a uniform violation. I just wanted to see what detention was like.

The paddle? Brings back memories of the naughty kids. I probably would've managed to get out of it just like you did.

Willowtree said...

Mmmmm spanking......

Gattina said...

Geez, I thought it was used in the 1900 century I have never seen this in a school and I am talking of 55 years ago ! Already at that time it was forbidden to beat a child ! I think if I would have been your mother I would have taken my wooden cake roll and tried it on this teacher, nobody should hurt my child !

Robinella said...

The other kids were just happy it wasn't them. Did you get a good reputation from it?

Bond said...

Mother Superior was old and she cold not handle the paddle any longer, so she had a device made where she could step on a lever and the paddle was spring loaded...and WACK!

Yup...It hurt like hell...

laurie said...

ok, you got to watch movies instead of go to gym class? that's great.

but you got paddled if you were out of line? that's terrible!!!

kitten said...

That was one of those open mouth insert foot moments, uh!

Tiggerlane said...

robocop - a switch with THORNS? But that would STICK! OUCH!

robin - now I want to hear other stories! AND, I may have to tell the ones about how I HAVE gotten out of traffic stops...

anglophile football fanatic - I wish we had school uniforms. It would have kept me out of all that 70's plaid!

willowtree - yeah, after I posted this, I figured it might rival my google hits for "urine therapy."

gattina - it was used OFTEN - I went to school between 1974 and 1986 - but it was mostly in Texas. A different world in Texas, I think.

robinella - nope, I was still the goody-two shoes with glasses. Got rid of them in high school, but had braces in my graduation photo.

bond - I'm becoming increasingly glad that I didn't go to Catholic school!

laurie - only in bad weather, and I never really got a paddling, but some did on a weekly basis.

kitten - DEFINITELY! And I've had many more since!

gawilli said...

You sure can tell people's age by their comments, can't you? We had paddling when I was in school, too. My sixth grade teacher gave everyone a swat on their birthday. I anguished every day until it was my turn. I absolutely hated it, and him for it. Glad that is past us.

dawn said...

That is funny. I got kicked out of class once with a few other girls. I too was a goody too shoes and never in trouble but we had this one teacher who wanted to do things different. No one respected him. He wanted us to write private stuff in a journal but he wouldn't read it, yet we asked how he knew we didn't do it. The day in question, he asked who didn't want to do English Lit. I put up my hand, and a few other girls did. He lined us up against the wall and then marched us down to the office. My mom was called in. She asked the principal what was wrong with the teacher asking a question when he wasn't going to like the answer. I didn't get into trouble, nor did the other girls. My mom told the teacher at an interview, the kids think he is gay. He said he wasn't and had a girlfriend who could prove it. My mom said "She can't prove that, you're going to have to prove that yourself". That teacher didn't last long. I home school my kids.

Oh, and about the photo, at least you turned out gorgeous.

Pamela said...

I have a friend locally that had a teacher that hated her - and sent her to the principals office all the time.

The principal would have pretend the punishment - so that everyone was happy down the hall. But he knew her teacher was picking on her.

That's one nasty looking paddle board

Tiggerlane said...

gawilli - I agree. I think most of us over 35 remember paddlings!

dawn - thank you! And yeah - having a wife OR girlfriend, doesn't prove a thing. I don't blame you for home-schooling, though I know some great teachers. But our system fails our children at times, and so many teachers are forced to "teach the test."

pamela - the actual one was worse...the holes were tiny, and there was tape wrapped around it!

Bren said...

That's a scary looking paddle! I had more than my share of paddlings in school.And then I always got it at home.

theotherbear said...

Yikes, that paddle sounds terrifying!

Desert Songbird said...

See, now why am I NOT surprised that you were a goody-two-shoes in grade school and a hell raiser in college? Oh wait...maybe because I was the same way, and you and I are kindred spirits?! I remember The Paddle, and I charmed or wept/negotiated my way out of it a couple of times.

Kelly - PTT said...

Oh man, what a story. What's funny is I knew exactly what that contraption was before I even read the post!

alisonwonderland said...

good thing for your powers of persuasion! :)

Tiggerlane said...

bren - something tells me, I could have used some more paddlings!

theotherbear - is ANY paddle NOT terrifying?

desert songbird - there was never any question - TOTALLY kindred spirits!

kelly ptt - Good to see you! And yes, it's an image that brings back memories - NOT good ones.

alisonwonderland - more like powers of panic!

Peter said...

Goody two shoes escapes again!!!

janet said...

ah, another goody-two-shoes like myself.

and the paddle? omg! that's something i never came across in school.

Alta said...

I remember those paddles very well. I only got paddled twice at school. The first time it hurt really bad. The second time - I vowed it would never happen again. And it didn't.

Sirdar said...

OK...I know I commented yesterday and it isn't hear. Hmmmm....maybe I shut it off before that damn word verification accepted me....

I told the story that our school didn't have a paddle, but we did get the strap. I got it once every grade from 1 to 6. I tell you I was innocent!!! :-)

Tiggerlane said...

peter - it wouldn't be the ONLY time!

janet - glad I'm not alone - maybe we should form a club?

alta - I never did - but wondered if it was really as bad as the kids said. You are living proof!

sirdar - sorry, had to turn word verification back on, after getting spammed twice in one day. And the strap? Somehow, that sounds WORSE!

Jo Beaufoix said...

Oh my God, that paddle looks awfu. So glad you didn't get it. Ouch.

Debs said...

OUCH. Glad you got out of it. :D

I never got a paddle, but all the teachers paddles looked alike. Holes drilled into it.

Tiggerlane said...

jo beaufoix - the one I remember was even worse - but you know how young minds can exaggerate things!

debs - I'm glad I'm not the only one who went to a sadistic school - I was beginning to think it was extremely archaic, or I am REALLY old!