Wednesday, November 21, 2007

NaBloPoMo Day Twenty-One - Life is Like a Box of...

I've never claimed to be anything but unique. In fact, I am PROUD that I'm unlike anyone I've ever met. Of course, it's more complicated when you are abandoned shortly after birth.

Those of you unfamiliar with THE STORY, go ahead and catch up. Then maybe you'll forget that I've been NaBloPoMo-ing (moaning?) for days, and get lost in a decent narrative.

At any rate, if you DO know THE STORY, then you'll appreciate this even more.

I wanted to keep my gall bladder after they took it out. Not that it was good for our home decor, but I'm kinda attached to my parts. (They DID let me keep the gallstones, and Roger let me display them for months on a shelf in our dining room. He finally threw them away. Dammit.) I am so curious about every aspect of my body, in case I might find something unusual that would make me "one in a million," and easier to link to any possible relatives. At any rate, the only thing that has come out/off of me are:

1) a mole;
2) a fatty tumor under my armpit (I know, GROSS), after several painful mammograms;
3) The Offspring;
4) a gift to my husband's friend.

Wanna see?

Now SOMEBODY on the blogosphere wasn't appreciative of my twisted sense of humor, even though my GIFT, considering the nature of THE CONTEST, was heartfelt and appropriate.

The recipient of these? Well, let's just say that it was his first real glimpse into the person his best friend married. I had never seen this man in my life, yet my husband and I threw together this package of random stuff you might find in your junk drawers, some happy meal toys, etc., and my teeth. These were pulled from my head when I was 14 years old, to make room for braces and my ultra-massive teeth in my too-small mouth.

Surprise! I still have some gnarly wisdom teeth to send, so watch out.

Here is a picture of him and Roger, during our visit to Chicago. They had not seen each other in 12 years. Needless to say, we recently received a package from Kim (yes, that's his real name). I got my teeth back.

That's how we roll.

12 comments:

Willowtree said...

Well of course he was happy, he got people teeth. Anyone would be happy with that!

Kila said...

He didn't make them into jewelry?

M@ said...

Well, at least you have the ability to MAKE relatives for yourself! By the way, I think I might be part Native American... so a little respect this holiday.

Memphis Steve said...

Good to know that you have all your teeth again. It's such an Arkansas cliche, you know, women with missing teeth.

Desert Songbird said...

Willowtree is a bit put out that you sent him Poo Woo's tooth and not one of these winners.

You must put them in a place of honor in the new digs. Maybe in a shadow box with its own special lighting...

Matt-Man said...

Who deosnt like the gift of teeth? I could use a couple extra. Cheers!!

Debs said...

I had some of my teeth removed before braces were placed to straighten out my smile.

My roots on all my teeth were huge and long.

Schmoop said...

I'm with Matt Man. I could use the extra, when my start falling out! WOW!

Tiggerlane said...

willowtree - I can't believe that - you haven't seen my gnarly wisdom teeth!

kila - REALLY! Better than bear teeth, dontcha think?

m@ - Hey - we both could be, and the hubby and kiddo are. No pox upon you, my friend.

memphis steve - LOL! Hadn't thought of it that way - but YES! You are right!

desert songbird - Oooh! I LIKE that idea! YES! You are my new decorator.

matt-man - I'll save any more I happen to collect, to make you a set.

debs - I guess it was common - maybe still is? So, did you keep yours?

schmoop - I'll give half of them to him, half to you - fair enough?

bermudabluez said...

Well....seems you have a whole set there...perhaps a necklace AND earrings?? Happy Thanksgiving!!

dawn said...

I think it is great he sent them back. If you kept them that long, they are special. I am thinking Roger is not so pleased the teeth came back.

Tiggerlane said...

bermudabluez - Happy Thanksgiving to you, too! And those would be PERFECT earrings!

dawn - Neither is Ambet - b/c Kim wrapped them up as a gift to HER - and she was totally grossed out!