Monday, August 20, 2007

Fun Monday White Lies

It's that time again, and this week, both Uncaring Bear and The Other Bear are the hosts! Our assignment has to be the MOST difficult of any Fun Monday in which I have participated:
Share with us a little white lie that you may, or may not, have gotten away with. Perhaps it's something more sinister than a little white lie - maybe even a deep dark secret that you've kept buried for years! All the better! Now's your chance to get it off your chest and confess: "Yes, I did eat that last slice of cheese cake", "No, I wasn't washing my hair that Saturday", "Those pants do make you look fat"!

Hmmm...this is REALLY tough. Now don't go thinking I'm going to reveal any huge secrets here, b/c I'm not. If I did, they wouldn't be secrets! But I tried hard to think of the "white lies" I've told. Basically, I'm so forthright and honest that I can easily hurt people's feelings. After a long weekend of thought, I finally came up with what are "sort of" white lies.

1. Pretending to actively listen to someone talk, when all I can honestly think about is breaking off the conversation to go do much more important things. In this Southern culture in which I live, running into someone at WalMart, giving a brief nod and merely GOING ABOUT MY BUSINESS is NOT protocol. So I find myself in a behavioral "white lie," nodding, smiling, adding the perfunctory "Mhmmmms," all while gritting my teeth and thinking of precious time lost out of my day.

2. I tell myself little white lies all the time:
"One bowl of ice cream won't hurt."
"You can eat that Big Mac with fries this week, and it won't make a difference."
"Oh...I can handle one more glass of wine."
"I can buy this without freaking out when my credit card bill comes next month."
"Sure, I can do one more thing, and my plate won't be too full."
Thankfully, I'm not too hard on myself when I catch myself in this habit.

3. Haven't we ALL told this one? "Oh, it's not you - it's me. I'm just at this point in my life where I need my space. Can we still be friends?" When what you really want to say is, "OMG...you have been driving me FREAKIN' NUTS for the past MONTH, and I just didn't want to go thru all the DRAMA of having to break it off with you, b/c I just KNEW you were going to be all crushed and begging and crying and pleading with me, b/c you are SUCH a puppy dog. And EVERY LITTLE THING that I once thought was adorable about you is now ANNOYING ME TO DEATH, making me want to stick FORKS IN MY EYES, and having you around is like HAVING A HUGE WART I CAN'T BURN OFF...." Well, you get the gist.
One thing I discovered this Fun Monday is that there is a wine, supposedly tailored to a woman's tastes and preferences, which claims to have 25% less calories than regular wine. It's the Beringer Early Season White Lie Chardonnay, and it has a lower alcohol content (9.8%) than most wines. Plus, as a bonus, each cork has a little white lie imprinted on it, such as "I bought this on sale," or, "Those jeans DO NOT make you look fat!"

Now go check out the other participants! I'm sure they have better secrets than me.

31 comments:

mjd said...

Fabulous Fun Monday post, Tiggerlane. I think that I will look for your White Lie wine to give as Christmas presents.

theotherbear said...

1. I use that first skill you mentioned all day at work.
2. Is it still a white lie if you're telling it to yourself? I'm sure it's not! :)
3. You sound very passionate about this one! But yeah, we've all done it...

Joy T. said...

LOVE #2! I laughed at the Wine, because I thought it was a joke. But I'm guessing it isn't a joke? Now I'm intrigued and will have to see if they sell it here. Unless it's a joke. Then just call me gullible

Beccy said...

That wine is brilliant, I hope they sell it here!

her indoors said...

is it a lie or is the wine for real, we all wondering now and will be going out trying to buy it! great post

Hootin'Anni said...

You're darn tootin' I'll be at the stores looking for the wine! Love the idea.

And the #1 is soooooo true!!

Lisa said...

Now I have a wine-hunting mission!
(Great white lies, by the way.)

Tiggerlane said...

mjd - thanks! Good luck finding it, I haven't been able to.

theotherbear - 1. Me, too; 2. I think so; 3. I've had to do it MANY times.

joy t. - Yes, it's for real!

beccy I haven't seen it in a while. Of course, with lower alcohol content, I would have to buy and drink more.

her indoors - it TRULY is for real! And thanks.

hootin' anni - Glad I didn't come across as unfeeling with #1.

lisa - let me know if you find it - and thanks!

swamp witch said...

Amazing...just amazing what one can learn when one blogs... I am a fan of Beringer Zinfandel (did I mention I'm a cheap date?) so I can't wait to try this one. A diet wine ! Who knew?

nikki said...

Ah yes, the infamous "break up" lie! Who hasn't had to resort to it?!?!?

White lie wine? Really? Hmmmmm, I almost want to try it. My question is, is the line about the 25% less calories a white lie too?

Robin said...

That wine IS a great idea (wish I would've thought of it, lol).

I think the lies we tell ourselves are the most easy to believe, huh?

"It's not you, it's me..." Didn't George Costanza invent that???

RAFFI said...

white lies are great. we don't like hurting other people or want to make them feel better, so we tell them a lie... what a great concept! the movie liar,liar was great for this idea. sometimes i truly wish i can say exactly what my gut is feeling rather than my mind and ego infiltrating and processing and sterilizing my verbal projection. never heard of the white lie wine, but it's definitely a great idea.

Matt-Man said...

I always use the following: "Honey, it's not herpes; it's just a heat rash." Cheers!!

alisonwonderland said...

i think we all tell ourselves the kind of lies you listed in #2!

white lie wine? great marketing gimmick that is!

The Artist formerly Known as Purpleworms (!) said...

Wow! Lies to one self - what a perfect blog topic!!

Kahless said...

I pretend to do the active listening one too when in reality i am in dreamland!

Amy W said...

I keep seeing all these lies that I tell too!

Karmyn R said...

Some of these lies, I've been telling myself, not realizing they are, in fact, lies.

I'm going to have a mid-life crisis in about 3 more blogs.

Kila said...

Those all sound familiar, with #2 being the most frequent.

lisa's chaos said...

I never thought of the fake listening as lieing but you're right and I'm guilty. I also didn't think about those lies I tell myself but again I'm guilty.

Love the neat wine, even though I don't drink I like the idea.

Pamela said...

you nailed it with your list.
Those are things we all have un-addressed.

Ref #3
It's been soooooo long since I dated I've forgotten most of the breakups.


Now I need to go find that wine.

Fianna said...

They don't sell the wine in red...boo...But it is an excellent idea, however I will be waiting for the red version!!

Your lies are also definitely ones all of us tell!

Kaytabug and I tag you for the 10 things that rock about you! AKA "Stuart Smalley meme"!! What do you love about yourself! Is there a better meme??

M@ said...

Yeah, Tigger, but what are you doing for WEDNESDAY? You know [Wedneesday's coming up, don't ya?

Tiggerlane said...

swampy - no guarantee on the taste - not sure if the lower alcohol content would make me drink more, thus defeating the purpose.

nikki - I think it's for real - but I have to find a bottle to make sure.

robin - Yup - I'll bet it was George. But in his case, it WAS him.

raffi - wish I was better at telling white lies - would make my friends happier, I'm sure!

matt-man - isn't that more of a "red lie?"

alisonwonderland - the self-told lies are the WORST. Let me know if you get some of that wine.

artist - I tend to do it a LOT. Every day. It sucks!

kahless - reminds me of being in school!

amy w - at least I've got good company in all of you.

karmyn r - I thought blogging was supposed to be therapeutic? Hang in there, kiddo.

kila - until I wrote this post, I didn't realize HOW MUCH I utilize lying method #2.

lisa's chaos - True, maybe it's just those types of lies that make ME feel guilty?

pamela - been a long time for me, too - but the memories are still a little fresh. I hate hurting people, even those that annoy me.

fianna - thanks for the tag! And I can't drink red wine - makes me TOO honest - and I'm honest enough as it is.

m@ - you've found my blogging cycle, eh?

wolfbaby said...

Oh my gosh that is funny i love the wine;)

ChrisB said...

Your post was funny. After reading everyone's posts I realise just how many 'white lies' I have been telling so goodness knows why I thought I had nothing to tell!!

Susan in va said...

EEK! I think I'm guilty of #1, too! I guess I never considered that LYING since I was only smiling and nodding my head, though.

I'm bummed that the White Lie wine is Chardonnay. I hate Chardonnay. I prefer more of a bold, robust, dry "Red Lie" myself ;)

Domo Arigato, Tiggerlane! (*wink wink*)

Susan in va said...

You'll have to stop back by my place when you get a chance. I was so impressed with your comment that I had to put it in a post.

I've gotta say...you know your Styx, woman!

Kaytabug said...

OMG I thought I had commented on you yesterday!!! WTH? Ok so I Loved your post!!! I am guilty of all 3...and I love the idea behind that wine!
Fianna and I are just trying to spread the love and all the warm fuzzies we gave ourselves when we did that meme! I hope you enjoy it!!

Tiggerlane said...

wolfbaby - I seriously MUST find this wine!

susan in va - I love red wine, but it makes me mean - and I can never remember what I said the next morning. Thanks for the compliment! I used to be a Styx addict.

kaytabug - I love the meme! As soon as I can think of 10 things, I am going to go for it...but I'm stuck on 3 for now...

Arkansas Songbird said...

Yikes! I'll never speak to you in Walmart again!