It's that time again, and this week, both Uncaring Bear and The Other Bear are the hosts! Our assignment has to be the MOST difficult of any Fun Monday in which I have participated:
Share with us a little white lie that you may, or may not, have gotten away with. Perhaps it's something more sinister than a little white lie - maybe even a deep dark secret that you've kept buried for years! All the better! Now's your chance to get it off your chest and confess: "Yes, I did eat that last slice of cheese cake", "No, I wasn't washing my hair that Saturday", "Those pants do make you look fat"!
Hmmm...this is REALLY tough. Now don't go thinking I'm going to reveal any huge secrets here, b/c I'm not. If I did, they wouldn't be secrets! But I tried hard to think of the "white lies" I've told. Basically, I'm so forthright and honest that I can easily hurt people's feelings. After a long weekend of thought, I finally came up with what are "sort of" white lies.
1. Pretending to actively listen to someone talk, when all I can honestly think about is breaking off the conversation to go do much more important things. In this Southern culture in which I live, running into someone at WalMart, giving a brief nod and merely GOING ABOUT MY BUSINESS is NOT protocol. So I find myself in a behavioral "white lie," nodding, smiling, adding the perfunctory "Mhmmmms," all while gritting my teeth and thinking of precious time lost out of my day.
2. I tell myself little white lies all the time:
"One bowl of ice cream won't hurt."
"You can eat that Big Mac with fries this week, and it won't make a difference."
"Oh...I can handle one more glass of wine."
"I can buy this without freaking out when my credit card bill comes next month."
"Sure, I can do one more thing, and my plate won't be too full."
Thankfully, I'm not too hard on myself when I catch myself in this habit.
3. Haven't we ALL told this one? "Oh, it's not you - it's me. I'm just at this point in my life where I need my space. Can we still be friends?" When what you really want to say is, "OMG...you have been driving me FREAKIN' NUTS for the past MONTH, and I just didn't want to go thru all the DRAMA of having to break it off with you, b/c I just KNEW you were going to be all crushed and begging and crying and pleading with me, b/c you are SUCH a puppy dog. And EVERY LITTLE THING that I once thought was adorable about you is now ANNOYING ME TO DEATH, making me want to stick FORKS IN MY EYES, and having you around is like HAVING A HUGE WART I CAN'T BURN OFF...." Well, you get the gist.
One thing I discovered this Fun Monday is that there is a wine, supposedly tailored to a woman's tastes and preferences, which claims to have 25% less calories than regular wine. It's the Beringer Early Season White Lie Chardonnay, and it has a lower alcohol content (9.8%) than most wines. Plus, as a bonus, each cork has a little white lie imprinted on it, such as "I bought this on sale," or, "Those jeans DO NOT make you look fat!"
Now go check out the other participants! I'm sure they have better secrets than me.