Orgasmic Idol

HE DID IT!! And yes, I'm proud of him. Unfortunately, the finale of Idol was a bit painful, especially since I had a pretty good idea of who the winner would be going in. But having to suffer through two hours of variety-show-style performances led to several eye-rolling moments. First off, why the heck did they allow Meatloaf on stage? He wouldn't have made it past the first round of auditions!! He also looked quite shocked that Katharine McPhee got a bigger reaction from the audience. Much as I hate the camera-mugging Kat, she did shine next to the wavering, slobbering fat bastard she was paired with. And someone please tell me, what exactly IS Clay Aiken? I haven't figured that one out yet - and I'm glad I missed that season of Idol.

Mary J. Blige shouldn't have relegated Elliott Yamin to background singer - he was definitely holding his own, sounding more confident and relaxed than he had all season. I look for him to get a big record deal and free dental work. And Momma Yamin couldn't have been more proud.

The Pickler Schtick was back, as annoying as ever. Did anyone else hear her "drop" the accent for a bit there? Barf. Another note: I couldn't figure out in Simon's montage if he was highly sexual with all the self-stroking, or just narcissistic.

Listening to the group of girls/boys perform, I agree with something Simon said earlier in the season: it was the boys' competition to lose. They sounded much tighter than the girls - and evidently possess more talent.

Chris and the lead singer from "Live" looked like brothers - and I felt as if Ed Kowalczyk spent most of his time trying to distinguish himself from Chris, as Daughtry looked on admirably.

Most uncomfortable moment? Besides the obviously deranged Clay Aiken wannabe having a seizure onstage (and having to be put in his cage by Ryan Seacrest), was Taylor's performance with Toni Braxton. She was gyrating all over, sexing up a song about the ghetto? At one point, she nuzzled up to Taylor and attempted to wrap his hand around her waist and rub it against her bod. Thankfully, Taylor didn't take the bait and caress the hornilicious, mumbling (and maybe drunk?) Braxton, but kept his cool as Fox cut away from the shot. He outsang her, too.
All in all, too lengthy of a show, but DAMN! They saved the best for last, as surprise guest Prince hit the stage! And thank goodness they didn't make him sing with an Idol contestant - he rocked the joint like no one else! Here is a link to check out the Purple Man's performance, in case you missed the best part of the show (thanks Mr. Big). Little too much makeup, but he proved (as always) that he reigns supreme. And yes, this moment led me to title this post as such. Can you tell I'm a major Prince fan?

I'm so glad that America voted for Taylor Hicks instead of Miss Priss-Face. Don't worry, she'll end up on Broadway and have a successful career. But as Taylor said, he's the one living the American Dream.