Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Not Just For Your Teeth Anymore

I expected the topic of anal bleaching to disappear from my brain cavity a few months ago. When initially I heard of it, I dismissed it as an urban legend. Then, a friend from California came to visit, shattered my illusion and verified the existence of such a practice in the real world (or at least in California.) Verbally verified, of course. Today, I was again faced with the reality of such a practice while reading The WOW Report.
Now, seriously folks, have you ever had a time in your life when you thought, "Is there any way of making my anus more pink or lighter in color? Mine is dark and I hate it." First of all, when is the last time you REALLY inspected your winkie? Your significant other spending a lot of time down there? No, forget it, I don't want to know. At any rate, being married to a medical professional, I hear it ALL...and believe me, they joke about everything (anonymously, of course) regarding the oddities of the human form. He often recovers people who have been subjected to colonoscopies. Never in my life has he come home to say, "Boy, you should have seen how BROWN this @$$hole was today!!"

According to Crappers Quarterly,which is a real online publication, "They use a special cream, combined with a full waxing treatment to achieve optimal results. The cream is concentrated and works 'with' the body (dark area) not 'at' it. It absorbs and penetrates into the skin and lightens from the inside out-slowly, but steadily." (Can you tell I did my research?)

I can only surmise that this is something the Brokeback fellas are into. Them, and porn stars. I just wonder how Crest is going to create a marketing campaign for their "new" Whitestrips.

6 comments:

Kodijack said...

This has to be a gay thing, or else some women are just a little too "anal".

Pioneer Woman said...

I'm hurling. Bleeeeecccchh.

Mugsy said...

You onced mentioned that if no one ever bothers to even read your rants, the blog may still serve as a place your daughter may visit years from now to peruse some of her mothers' thoughts in her younger days".

Somehow, a rant on the subject of "anal bleaching" somehow doesn't strike me as anything you'd want your child to remember you by years down the road *LOL*.

Tiggerlane said...

Unfortunately, my child and I have the kind of relationship where she would totally appreciate this entry!

I know, time to call DHS and have her taken away from me...

Tiggerlane said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sunny Loves Soul said...

Cannot imagine lying on a foam covered table facedown while someone administers ointment (or WTF) to my backside. wow.
Too funny.