Sunday, April 27, 2008

Fun Monday is Tiggerless

I can't believe it - but it's only the first Fun Monday since this whole she-bang started that has no Tiggerlane participation. Actually, I've already done my blog duty, since I've shared the intimate details of my dental work (see posts below). However, I have been VERY busy, since we have a Filipino guest in our home this week! Our Rotary club is hosting a Group Study Exchange team until this Thursday, so we have Kryz staying with us, and no one from our family has made her head for the hills. Yet. Can you imagine, staying in our home for a week? The insanity of The Offspring and her friends? Or our friends? Let's just say that we had extra overnight guests her first night here, and she is STILL alive. Not to mention that we didn't go to bed that first night/morning until 3:00AM. Can you guess which one she is?Happy Fun Monday to you all, and say a little prayer for Kryz!

Friday, April 25, 2008

The Saga of Dan

Some of you REALLY want me to go see Dan. I admit, I'm tempted. Even though I prefer Melissa's suggestion that I go with a few El Presidente Margaritas in me first.

But, as the universe has seen fit, I think Dan feels my pain - and is now appealing to me. Calling to me. Yearning for my teeth.

Why, just this week? In the local paper? Dan got BRAVE. Just read this.
Now, isn't this just like a "Desperately Seeking Susan" event in the world of Tiggerlane?

How can I NOT go present my gold crown now?

HE WANTS MY TOOTH. Can you feel it?

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Drive By Turned Drive Thru

I've been driving by this sign for weeks, chuckling to myself. Actually guffawing, LOL to the MAX! Only in a little town like this, here in Arkansas, is there a place where you can sell your gold teeth. My friends and I have all noticed this sign and pondered what types of people sell their gold teeth.

Can't you just see them? Some old family member passes away, and there's this bright idea...

"Hey, Zeb, I'll bet Paw has a few of dem there gold teeth in his head!"

"Well, golly, you sure about that Zeke? Why, I wonder if they know that down there at that funeral home?"

"I think dem places are open 24 hours or somethin' - figure we could sneak in and pry a few of dem suckers out? I hear Dan down there at that pawn shop would give us some beer money for 'em - whaddya think?"

"Shoot, let's go!"

Or...maybe there is some poor soul who can't afford a tank of gas, squinching his eyes up in the bathroom mirror, trying to dissolve the adhesive with a homemade concoction, jerking like hell on that one gold tooth that is his ticket to the state line to buy a case of beer.

Well, let's consider another scenario:
Let's consider that one fine upstanding young lady in this fair town has had a gold crown for the past 14 years. And let's also consider that this jewel popped out of said lady's mouth in the middle of a fine Mexican dinner. Let's also consider that her dentist has decided that too much of her tooth has broken off in said crown for it to be replaced.

Methinks the crown didn't appreciate my sense of humor and wanted to go live with Dan.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Fun Monday Accomplishments

I'm SO GLAD that Southern Doll is hosting this week's Fun Monday. I have been out of town at a conference all weekend, and wasn't sure I'd have the strength left to blog. However, she had a GREAT assignment. She wanted to know: "What have you done in your life that was worth doing? I want to know the moments in your life that you hope will be the ones to pass through your mind when your time comes."

I'm exhausted and FEEL near death, so this might be a good time to brainstorm. Let's see, in no particular order:

Giving birth to The Offspring. Having a daughter, and committing my life to raising her well, has to be the most important thing I will ever do - now or in the future.

Being fulfilled as a person, by virtue of truly feeling like I KNOW myself. Or at least the person I've become up until this point.

Having a successful and loving marriage.

Going back to school and obtaining my Master's Degree.

Having the courage to buy my own company, and the strength to power through the tough times.

Maintaining a good relationship with my parents.

Spending time devoting myself in service to others through Rotary International.

There are so many more things I could list - but I feel that by living my life to its fullest, I am fulfilling my purpose. There is so much left for me to do, and so much left to give - I hope to create MANY more moments to be deemed worthy!

Have fun visiting all the Fun Monday participants!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Just in Time for the Season

You know, there are some friends in my life that I just CANNOT do without. One of those is the inimitable Brent. He recently sent me some GREAT shoe rules, and as you all know, I'm a shoe whore to the MAX. But these are PERFECT for the season - enjoy!

Just a friendly reminder, it's that time of the year again. Please raise your BIG TOE and repeat after me, as a member of the Faux Paux Sisterhood, I pledge to follow The Rules when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes:

1. I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs, the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

2. I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free, I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

3. I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

4. I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

5. I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

6. If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put, I will get my shoe fixed or toss it. No matter how much it hurts.

7. I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

8. I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat, and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

9. I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

10. I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes look like they've been dragged behind her car on the way to work and no sandal in the world is going to make her feet look good.

11. I promise if I wear flip flops , that I will ensure they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

12. I will promise to go to my local beauty school at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $15 and worth EVERY penny). I say spend another $15.00 and get a even better one.

And finally...
13. I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear...nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals...


Saturday, April 12, 2008

Fun Monday - and Five Words

The Nekked Lizard Clan is hosting this week's Fun Monday, which means we had to come up with five photos, and five words to describe each one. You will be happy to know that I totally followed the rules!

Dawg Tired on the Couch.
Always Ready for Some Football.
Snowman Hydrant Needs a Face.
Birds No Read So Good.
Baby Girl is Growing Up.Go visit the Lizards, and all the participants!

Friday, April 11, 2008

To Grind, or Not To Grind?

As a new owner of a garbage disposal unit, I am tempted to stuff everything down inside, including small pets who tend to meow loudly, late at night. I have had to retrain the other occupants of our home, so that they put their food scraps down the disposal, instead of tossing them in the trash.

Then, several friends told me horror stories about what NOT to put in a disposal. Including small bones - thereby negating any murderous plot I may have against the resident feline.

So, this got me to thinking - what IS acceptable to put in the disposal? What do YOU put in your disposal? Any horror stories?

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Wordless Wednesday - Fire and Ice

A bonfire at our home...
The view from our front porch, during the last snow...

Monday, April 07, 2008

Fun Monday Crushes

This was a TOUGH Fun Monday for me! Jo Beaufoix (who is rockin' a new web design - you GO, Girl!) wanted to know about our youthful celebrity crushes. Unlike most girls, my walls were NOT plastered with the hotties from Teen Beat, but with photos of hot cars. My dad and I used to go to car auctions on the weekends in the Houston Astrodome...and I fell in love with the automobile. So, my first REAL crush is a car. However, I did have to buy the albums of this cutie:Yes, Shaun Cassidy. Me and 1,000,000 other girls my age pined for him. Not the most talented singer, but can you imagine running your fingers thru that hair? Sigh.

Next, I had a crush on Tommy Shaw from Styx, mostly due to his photo in the inside of the "Paradise Theater" album (bottom left):I like his voice a lot, too - it was kinda lispy. Remember the song "Too Much Time on My Hands?" Or maybe you were a fan of "Renegade?" Well, my husband took me to a Styx concert in Fort Smith a few years ago...and I was shocked that Tommy now looks like this:Uh, yeah - he isn't a kid anymore? I was surprised, as I stood not ten feet from the man, that he had aged. NOT POSSIBLE! But, still a cool guy, who still rocks and sends people like me e-cards at Christmas.

My first REAL crush?The 1969 Jaguar E-Type 4.2 Roadster Series. Yeah, baby. Something tells me it won't age a BIT!

Now go visit Jo and see the other participants!

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Are You Twitterpated?

Like I needed ANYTHING ELSE to play with, I discover Twitter. Instant gratification. Instant blogging from my cell phone. Instant addiction.

Perfect for those times that I am at home, and The Offspring is hogging the computer. Perfect for when I am nowhere NEAR a computer. I can do this FROM MY CELL PHONE and it UPDATES ON MY BLOG. Did you get that? CELL PHONE TO BLOG. In one easy step. Look at that sidebar - GENIUS!

I am so enamored with this new capability that if you gave me a choice between a lifetime without chocolate and a lifetime without Twitter? You'd be getting some really PMS-laced Twitter responses.

140 character snippets. Snippets of life. Like anyone cares? Oh, but they do.

I'm twittering, and jittering. As if text messaging didn't keep my hands occupied, now there is Twitter. Yeah, I'm late to the party. Yeah, I'm behind the times. Twitter has been with the world for almost two years - but hey, I'm a Neophyte, remember? I am the late arrival to ANY techno party that isn't playing thumpin' music.

Speaking to a live person, IN person, is the "old way" of communication. Are we all so self-absorbed that this is the new us? Updating everyone, at a moment's notice, with the minute details of our lives? I thought blogging was a bit narcissistic (which is why it is a good medium for me), but Twitter? It goes over the edge and beyond. Now, you can keep up with my latest Twitters in the sidebar. As if you really cared.

Are you twittering? If so, wanna follow?