Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Drive By Turned Drive Thru

I've been driving by this sign for weeks, chuckling to myself. Actually guffawing, LOL to the MAX! Only in a little town like this, here in Arkansas, is there a place where you can sell your gold teeth. My friends and I have all noticed this sign and pondered what types of people sell their gold teeth.

Can't you just see them? Some old family member passes away, and there's this bright idea...

"Hey, Zeb, I'll bet Paw has a few of dem there gold teeth in his head!"

"Well, golly, you sure about that Zeke? Why, I wonder if they know that down there at that funeral home?"

"I think dem places are open 24 hours or somethin' - figure we could sneak in and pry a few of dem suckers out? I hear Dan down there at that pawn shop would give us some beer money for 'em - whaddya think?"

"Shoot, let's go!"

Or...maybe there is some poor soul who can't afford a tank of gas, squinching his eyes up in the bathroom mirror, trying to dissolve the adhesive with a homemade concoction, jerking like hell on that one gold tooth that is his ticket to the state line to buy a case of beer.

Well, let's consider another scenario:
Let's consider that one fine upstanding young lady in this fair town has had a gold crown for the past 14 years. And let's also consider that this jewel popped out of said lady's mouth in the middle of a fine Mexican dinner. Let's also consider that her dentist has decided that too much of her tooth has broken off in said crown for it to be replaced.

Methinks the crown didn't appreciate my sense of humor and wanted to go live with Dan.

19 comments:

Karmyn R said...

My one little gold crown is just aching right now - fearful of the thought.

I'd rather give blood for money, I think.

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

I think I'm with Karmyn. I wondered what that Twit meant earlier. Ouch! So, with metals being worth a LOT right now, I hope you got a fair price for your tooth?

Sandy said...

Did you at least get a tank of gas out of it? My son-in-law just filled up his pickup yesterday and spent $130.00!

Beckie said...

Nice nails!!

I have a mouth full of crowns, but none of them are gold. Damn the luck.

Desert Songbird said...

With gold supposedly worth $1,000 an ounce, you reckon you got the money there in your hand to pay for your dental bill?

ChrisB said...

LOL wish I had gold teeth!!!

Tiggerlane said...

karmyn r - I think I would, too.

anglophilefootballfanatic - I am FAR too embarrassed to go in there and ask - maybe someone could convince me?

sandy - gasp! That's horrible! And I just can't go in there...yet...

beckie - thank you! Maybe I'll ask the nail tech if she can put my tooth back in.

desert songbird - if there's an ounce of gold in that sucker, it would be nice. But something tells me Dan doesn't pay that much.

chrisb - I'm just glad it wasn't a FRONT tooth!

Bond said...

So, how much did you get for it?

C'mon fess up...we know you and Dan are buds now...

melissa said...

Oh, Tiffany, you HAVE to go in. Think of the blogging material. Or, think of your blogging friend, with her three-year-old gold crown, who is desperately wondering how much the value of her tooth is appreciating as she types this comment. Whichever works. ;)

(I would be too embarrassed to go in there too, btw. Maybe if I had had a few of your Presidente Margaritas I could do it!!)

melissa said...

I admit - I googled:

$40-$50!

Kaytabug said...

OMG this is freakin' hilarious!!!
You just HAVE to go in there. Unless you are extremely attached to the tooth...then maybe a shadow box is in order.

I agree, you nails are fab!

M@ said...

I see some toothless BJs in your future.

kitten said...

LOL! At the 1st part.

C said...

Dang woman, your grill fell out. ha ha

therimmers said...

OK you knew THIS would catch my eye!!! God how I miss home and my old job!!!!

Pamela said...

What is it about Mexican food and loosing teeth. A similar thing happened to me in the middle of a burrito some years back. Except it was a tooth. Just cracked right there and fell in two pieces.

I'm glad you didn't swallow it

Occidental Girl said...

Wow! Did that hurt? It looks like it would've hurt.

I like the pawn shop sign where it says "debit cards reloaded." I didn't know you could do that!

Tiggerlane said...

bond - dan is officially calling out to me. Watch for the next post.

melissa - I wonder if it's like tattoo places, where you can't sell your teeth if you're drunk? Hmmm...let's get drunk and GO!

kaytabug - shadowbox! LOL! I have actually considered that I could make a morbid ring out of it. Most people would think it a nugget.

m@ - only you.

kitten - you would not BELIEVE how many people her would fit the casting of those two roles in my blog diatribe!

c - LOL! Good thing it wasn't the front piece!

therimmers - good ole Dr. Bailey! No one is as good as you, dear - you're missed!

pamela - and yet, that would have made an even MORE RIPE post now, wouldn't it?

occidental girl - naw, had a root canal 14 years ago on said tooth. And I didn't know you could do that, either!

bichonpawz said...

I'm thinking I need to move to where you live and go meet this DAN. I have a freakin' ton of gold in my mouth!!