I've thought and thought, and contrary to popular myth, I am having trouble sucking.
The High School Valedictorian and perfectionist Virgo in me are conspiring to make this Fun Monday a lesson in abject failure. Mindy's assignment is to "Write the worst opening sentence that you can come up with and accompany this atrocity with a photo of your setting, a character or a bit of action that relates to the opening line or (for those who do not have a camera) a written description of same." Uh...harder than it looks. I love writing. I love being concise and poignant and descriptive. So, I'm "tweaking" Mindy's assigment by taking some license with it. "Worst" opening sentence could also mean "most disgusting," right? Sure.
So, if you're squeamish, stop reading now. I'm serious. Look away. The sentence is coming:
"Stella's arthritic hands fumbled with the colostomy bag, as she had never changed it herself outside a hospital environment; luckily, her faithful dog, Oink, was there to lick up the spillage as her bathroom floor puddled with feces."
Don't say I didn't warn you. Just be thankful I couldn't come up with a more descriptive photo.