Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Golden Globes - Tastefully Displayed!

I was pleased that this year's array of globes seemed well supported and well-covered, for the most part, unlike some of last year's droopers. And poor Prince! Stuck in traffic. That might teach him to show up a little earlier, unlike his usual "fashionably late" mode. At last year's American Idol competition, producers were unsure if he was going to be there at all - until he sauntered backstage only 30 seconds before his performance. At least Hugh Grant gave Prince his due. Wonder if he kicked Justin Timberlake's a$$ at the post-party for mocking him? Hey, Justin, GUESS WHO IS PLAYING THE SUPER BOWL this year? Huh? No more of that lame teenaged-boy-fumbling with a Jackson's boob and then acting all innocent later - the man who INVENTED sexy in the music world will show you how it's done!! Sexy never LEFT, little boy! But I digress.
I really thought most of the dresses were great - and Drew Barrymore propped the girls up, where they belong. However, Meryl Streep probably has more money in the bank than half the audience, and yet she chose to wear a burlap sack held together with twine? WTF? Gotta love Meryl, but she should have taken some lessons from Helen Mirren, who looked absolutely stunning. And, who made the decision to let Sacha Baron Cohen go on and on about his costar's wrinkly testicular globes (or as Tom Hanks reminded us all too often, balls = "artistic vision"), yet cut short the speech of the nameless guy who accepted the award for Dreamgirls?? Must be compensating for the ladies getting all modest about their own globes.

The worst dresses of the night were Beyonce's gold atrocity and Rinko Kikuchi's pink-balled disaster (keeping in the theme, perhaps). Seriously - this is a cute girl, with a tiny figure, and she chooses a dress that mimics a psychotic poodle owner's vision of the perfect Valentine doggie makeover? Puh-leez.

"Worst Display of Globes" award goes to Ali Larter of Heroes, who somehow made People.com's best dressed list. Prop them up, darlin', they are young and fresh and yet look old and tired in this dress:












Best Globes? Why, Salma Hayek, of course, seen here on the right of America Ferrera. You go, girl! Lest you think my criticisms are all out of jealousy, know that I only give these folks a hard time because they have all the money in the world to look absolutely FABULOUS. So when they make poor choices, they are fair game! Can't wait for the Oscars!

14 comments:

Karmyn R said...

Whenever 24 had a commercial, I'd do a quick switch over to the Globes....

I wasn't looking at clothes - I was looking at the make-up. Did it seem to you that the women were all lacking color? Almost 90% of the women had nude lips (shiny, but nude)...kind of annoyed me. Give me some red, burgandy - at least some pink. They looked beautiful - but washed out. Is Nude the new fashion color or what?

Matt said...

I don't watch that kind of crap (I prefer the woodworking channel) but I did see Meryl Streep (is that the right name) give a good speech and exhort cinema fans to speak to their movie house managers about booking better films.

It was a good speech.

(Btw, do you think you might be Asian? The Asian Tigger.)

Matt said...

Dude, I can see it now. You're so Mexican!

Claudia said...

yes, right now the makeup trend is to be 'made up without looking made up..."
Rinko's Kikuchi's dress looks more like it came from Frederick's of Hollywood....

Desert Songbird said...

You crack me up with your reference to the "globes."

Hubby would agree with you on Salma -- he watches "Fools Rush In" and "Wild, Wild, West" just to gawk at her.

Oh, and if you're going to hell, I'm not far behind you!

Pamela said...

nawwwww.. they aren't real are they?
remind me of grapefruit.

Matt-Man said...

Salma Hayek...I would walk barefoot over broken glass for her...

Matt said...

You should take a test to see whether you're black or not. You know, just for fun.

Steven Novak said...

I'd bang Salma Hayek like a Bongo drum at the Tropicana. ;)

Steve~

swampwitch said...

I didn't watch the Globes except for a quick glimpse of Meryl. She was all the same color. I couldn't tell where her hair ended and her face started and her dress ended, and so on. Thanks for this little blip. Wow Salma ! The doc got 'em a little too round.

OneHungMan said...

Came here from Memphis Steve's page...gotta agree with you on Salma Hayek's globes. OneHung finds them absolutely stunning.

Memphis Steve said...

Yay well dressed boobs! Yay Salma Hayek! What was Meryl Streep smoking?!

SongBird said...

Musically he is top-notch, but he looks so...so....so...OILY!!!

Justin Timberlake mocked Prince?!! Give me a break!!! Forget sexy (and I do agree that Prince is far sexier), what about talent? Justin is still a pre-schooler compared to the Dr. of Cool.

Angelina said...

It's at moments like this that I really miss having TV. At least you gave a good report!