Friday, April 28, 2006

Into the Mind of a Killer

As I mentioned earlier - I have been reading the blog of the 26-year old man who killed a 10-year old girl in Oklahoma, with plans of conducting unspeakable acts, including cannibalism. You may wonder why I would care to read the thoughts of an obviously depraved individual. So let me explain.

My parents were very overprotective as I was growing up. My mother warned me about the dangers of "strangers," yet took it a step further. She and I read stories of Henry Lee Lucas, John Wayne Gacy, Jr., etc. I had a hard time looking at Mark Harmon for years, b/c he had played Theodore Bundy in a movie at that time. It wasn't out of morbid curiosity, but more of an attempt to learn their tactics and techniques. So that as I grew up, I would know how to avoid putting myself into situations that might lead to my death.

As I've gotten older, I am more interested in what leads these people to kill. Some, like Aileen Wuoros, have a history of abuse in their pasts that make the connection easier to fathom. Just watch "Monster," if you want a real look inside what led this woman to her psychotic rampage. Others grew up in homes with people who themselves were psychotic. Some could be labeled as just plain crazy.

So why read this man's blog? To try to understand why he snapped. Or if he snapped. He comes across as extremely intelligent, yet at a dead-end in his life, suffering from depression, loneliness, and despair. No excuse to kill a child, but the proclamations from others that he is "pure evil" leave me wondering. He wrote entries from September 2002 until the day AFTER he murdered the child. Reading his first entry about September 11th did make me shudder..

I have also read it to try to find a pattern in his communications - something that might be a sign if I meet someone like this in the future, or if my daughter brings home a young man that I suspect know.

I won't suggest you read the entire blog, but here is a link that might interest you. It details some of the most telling entries of the blog, as well as articles about the case. It also includes an IM log of a conversation this man had with a friend, while he had the body of the victim in his closet. Make your own judgment as to whether or not, if you had read this prior to his acts, you would have seen the signs. It is also interesting to read the comments left by others.

I will not post his photo, nor mention his name. The only person you need to know is Jamie Rose Bolin, his unfortunate victim. She is pictured above. May her family find some comfort, and may she rest in peace.

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