Into the Mind of a Killer

As I mentioned earlier - I have been reading the blog of the 26-year old man who killed a 10-year old girl in Oklahoma, with plans of conducting unspeakable acts, including cannibalism. You may wonder why I would care to read the thoughts of an obviously depraved individual. So let me explain.

My parents were very overprotective as I was growing up. My mother warned me about the dangers of "strangers," yet took it a step further. She and I read stories of Henry Lee Lucas, John Wayne Gacy, Jr., etc. I had a hard time looking at Mark Harmon for years, b/c he had played Theodore Bundy in a movie at that time. It wasn't out of morbid curiosity, but more of an attempt to learn their tactics and techniques. So that as I grew up, I would know how to avoid putting myself into situations that might lead to my death.

As I've gotten older, I am more interested in what leads these people to kill. Some, like Aileen Wuoros, have a history of abuse in their pasts that make the connection easier to fathom. Just watch "Monster," if you want a real look inside what led this woman to her psychotic rampage. Others grew up in homes with people who themselves were psychotic. Some could be labeled as just plain crazy.

So why read this man's blog? To try to understand why he snapped. Or if he snapped. He comes across as extremely intelligent, yet at a dead-end in his life, suffering from depression, loneliness, and despair. No excuse to kill a child, but the proclamations from others that he is "pure evil" leave me wondering. He wrote entries from September 2002 until the day AFTER he murdered the child. Reading his first entry about September 11th did make me shudder..


I have also read it to try to find a pattern in his communications - something that might be a sign if I meet someone like this in the future, or if my daughter brings home a young man that I suspect is...well...you know.

I won't suggest you read the entire blog, but here is a link that might interest you. It details some of the most telling entries of the blog, as well as articles about the case. It also includes an IM log of a conversation this man had with a friend, while he had the body of the victim in his closet. Make your own judgment as to whether or not, if you had read this prior to his acts, you would have seen the signs. It is also interesting to read the comments left by others.

I will not post his photo, nor mention his name. The only person you need to know is Jamie Rose Bolin, his unfortunate victim. She is pictured above. May her family find some comfort, and may she rest in peace.

Pickler Picked Off

Hooray! America isn't going to vote for CUTENESS or LIKEABILITY or COMMERCIALISM! America might actually pick someone for American Idol WHO CAN SING!!

Don't get me wrong. Honestly, during the auditions of American Idol, I knew Kellie would make it far. She did not have the WORST voice, but it was limited in its scope. She had the least amount of training, yet the highest potential because of her likeability factor. A factor that, IMHO, quickly became the annoyance factor. I just couldn't tolerate the Pickler schtick that many weeks in a row. At first, it was, "Aw, cute little Southern girl is all wide-eyed in the great big world." Which quickly evolved to, "That little cutesy-pie accent and dumb blonde act is the most unnerving part of this show."

My faith has been restored in America's Couch Potato population segment. You voted perfectly this week - the Pickler had to go. Rock on.

I'm ready for Presidential Idol now.

Been A Long Time...

I know, dear readers, it's been a while.

But Tiggerlane has been in a bit of a state these last few days. I'm not sure if it is due to a) a recent viewing of Brokeback Mountain, or b) reading the blog of the Oklahoma man who recently killed a 10-year old girl.

Most of you will wonder why I bothered doing either one.

I will tackle Brokeback first. Okay, so how could I NOT watch a movie that was all about the hype? I usually make a point to view each film that is nominated as "Best Picture" by the Academy, so this was on the list. After hearing that the sex scenes were limited, I decided to give it a try. Now, knowing that it is a GAY cowboy movie - wouldn't you have expected a reasonably "happy" ending? HELLO? Oh well. The ending was depressing. I just can't abide movies like that. For example, I loved Titanic, but I was awake for days, trying to reconcile the ending of that movie. My mother and I even argued about it. I firmly believe Rose died at the end, meeting Jack in Heaven, so there was at least SOME semblance of a HAPPY ENDING. My mother insists it was just a dream. The worst part, however, is that I never understood how Rose could throw that gorgeous necklace into the water. It upset me immensely. It bothered me even more than the loss of her Jack. Woman, PLEASE. Diamonds are a girl's best FRIEND!

But, I digress. I will blog more later - and for now, the most satisfying part of Brokeback is the fact that no one mounted a sheep.

Pre-Vacation Headaches

Just an innocent suggestion such as, "Why don't you come to visit us?" by the parental units has caused me endless hours of online research and late night/early morning grief. If the parental units lived, let's say, in Tennessee - this might be as simple as hopping in the car and showing up. No, the parental units have chosen the beautiful California area of South Laguna Beach as their retirement haven, meaning that I have to trek across the country to see them.

Before you ask, I love my parents dearly. I am their only child, and our daughter is their only grandchild. I haven't been to visit them in six years - and yes, that makes me a horrible person. But you have to understand my reluctance to travel such a distance on VACATION. The stress of the airports, the lugging of luggage (I just now figured out why they call it that), the hotel rooms, the rental car - all the work involved in keeping everything running smoothly for the husband and child. It's exhausting. This, after working the entire week before. It's worse than work.

The parental units? Happily retired. But you know, at the ages of 65 and 70 - much too frail to travel (?), and let's not forget the thought of leaving the dog for a week (Precious). Not gonna happen. Much easier for the daughter to lug her clan across the country - and what exactly IS there to do in Arkansas? Besides, don't you wanna stay at a cool place like this?

At least I have chosen my flight and booked the hotel room. We're staying at a lovely resort, if you'd like to come visit. It's apparently one of the only hotels in the state of California that does not crucify smokers on the gates of the entrance. (At 1:30AM on Saturday morning, after spending hours online looking for hotels that welcome cancer-stick addicts, I briefly thought of asking Roger not to smoke during the trip. Then I came to what senses I had left. He was going to see the IN-LAWS, for goodness sakes. What was I thinking?)

Wanna come smoke it up with us? Here is the link to our fabulous hotel. Oh, and it's not just breathtaking because of the views...don't even talk to me about the PRICE. That will literally take your breath away!

'Fess Up, Dearie - Past Your Prime?

I just cant imagine spending $1,000 per ticket to listen to Madonna Live . Honestly. Is it time for Madge to hang it up? Regardless of all the haters who say her butt is sagging (and judging from her latest CD cover, I just don't see it) - we listen for the music. And after listening to this clip, I have lost my desire to see or especially hear her live.

Incredibly sad, considering I've always been a fan. Granted, I grew up in the 80's (the "dark ages" of music, according to my 52-year old husband), so being a Madonna fan is not a huge confession. But I must admit, she doesn't sound that great live. I've had admiration for her willingness to be "out there" to make a buck, and she has a career that noone could sneeze at, but c'mon...the minimum ticket I could find was $370. Dontcha want some good singing to go with all that gyrating? I know some of the Madonna-faithful out there will chastise me for such disloyalty, but forgive me if I'd rather watch the American Idol group on tour.

The Next Level of Personal Expression/Idiocy?

A while back, I posted about grillz. At the time, I wrote it off as a silly, expensive way to personalize one's look. Little did I know that people out there are doing much more extreme things to their bodies.

The latest crazy seems to be body implants. An incision is made, and then an object made of either titanium, soft solid silicone, or Teflon is inserted. Other materials such as stainless steel can be used, but some people can develop an allergic reaction and reject the implant. If rejection does occur, the body will push the implant out through the skin.

According to this article ,"The length of time the process takes depends on the type of implants and the person it is being done on. Each person's fibrous layer is different; some may take less than 10 minutes, others up to half an hour. It also depends on the size of the implant. The implants are meant to be permanent but they can be removed. In fact it's easier to remove them than it is to put them in. If someone isn't happy with the outcome, or if they've shifted at all, they can easily be removed or replaced."

I'm all for personal expression. In fact, I allow my daughter to dye her hair and wear pretty much whatever she pleases, as long as it is age-appropriate. I won't allow her to pierce any part of her face until she is out from under my roof, though I have consented to a bellybutton piercing when she turns 13. I endorse creativity. I applaud individuality. But this seems insane. Once again, I feel as old as the hills...and being a parent seems more difficult.