Friday, February 08, 2008

Cardboard Boxes and Fire Trucks

I'm getting weary. I thought a solid month of packing time would be sufficient - what the heck happened? I've packed a total of four boxes, and Roger has packed almost two entire rooms and moved them to the new house. I've lost motivation, and the empty boxes are taunting me with yawping cardboard mouths. Reminding me that they need to be filled, and soon.

We had our new furniture and television delivered, and guess what? The furniture I had picked out months ago "didn't quite work" in the living room. Not to mention that I had a double-reclining sofa, which is NOT conducive to having a sofa table behind it. So, after living with the furniture for less than 24 hours, we called the furniture company. They were WONDERFUL, picked up stuff, and let us select new stuff, which they delivered yesterday. It works. And we're one step closer. Why am I so sad?

I went to our old house, plopped down on my grungy couch, and felt right at home. Then I started to feel sad. The rooms Roger had packed felt naked, depressed, bare and lonely. The walls filled with holes where our family pictures had once been seemed to be drooping, having lost their purpose. I suddenly didn't want to leave. I felt as if I was abandoning an old friend, who had carried me thru tough times. I felt like a traitor.

Do you have a police scanner? If so, you'll understand what snapped me out of this funk. Roger popped his head into the living room and uttered words that made my heart stop: "The scanner just reported that there is smoke coming out of the Century 21 building!" He was out the door, flying to my office. Just for clarification, we own the office building where I have my business. To increase the panic, it still has a mortgage.

I sat in shock for a second. Then I started shaking and realized I was hearing sirens. I called the police department to tell them we were on the way. Shaking more, I phoned my firefighter friend, barely able to speak. He told me to relax - reports they were receiving did not indicate that the building was engulfed in flames. I still had to see for myself.

Flying to the office, leaving my 14-year-old daughter asleep in her bed, my mind trying to figure out how to keep business running with no building. Within the 1.2-mile drive, I had a million contingency plans. When I got to the highway, I couldn't see anything but fire trucks and police vehicles. Panic really set in.

But there is good news...my building was safe. The horrible tornadoes that passed thru our state had missed our town, but high winds had broken a furnace vent in the back of our building. The vent was spewing steam against the side, giving the illusion of smoke pouring from the office.

Relieved that I wasn't faced with ANOTHER building project so soon, my adrenaline levels finally stabilized.

And I couldn't wait to get back to my grungy old couch. When the movers come on February 19th, they might have to carry it out with me still sitting on it!

23 comments:

Sandy said...

Oh my gosh! I am so glad that you are safe, your Roger is safe, your baby is safe. EVERYTHING else is just stuff and it is safe, too.

I cannot imagine the panic you must have felt.

Now, breathe, and on every exhale, put something in the box...lol.

Willowtree said...

I know exactly how you feel. We had a small 2 bedroom place that we completely renovated to just how we liked it. Then we wanted to step up so we bought a big flash house with all the bells and whistles.

While the little old place always felt like home, the new one just didn't seem as welcoming, and as there was nothing to do to it, it bore someone else's stamp.

I'd like to put your mind at ease and tell you the happy ending, but the the truth is that after 16 years I still haven't warmed to it. Which is probably why I spend so much time up here in this place, which was bought as a getaway 5 years ago. It reminds me a lot of the 2 bedder, and I've been here permanently since we bought it.

But seeing as you created your new house, I don't see you facing the same issues. It's yours, and I'm sure that pretty soon you'll feel right at home.

Karmyn R said...

How scary! I'm glad it was just a vent spewing steam!

Change is always hard - but that new home will feel SOOOO good once you are 100% in it.

ChrisB said...

I'm glad it turned out OK I can imagine the panic you must have felt driving to your office.

When I moved to my present home nearly 22 years ago it actually took me years to settle. I kept thinking of the old place as home. However this was because I moved to accommodate my mother not because I really wanted to move. You have a new home that you have built and nurtured and I'm sure you will love it once you move in.

Aoj & The Lurchers said...

I couldn't wait to move into our cottage. The flat had always been Himself's and this was a chance to move into somewhere that I could put my mark on. But, like you, the new sofas arrived and just didn't work as i'd had it all set out in my head. We had too much furniture and nowhere to put it and nothing worked. I suddenly felt like the bottom was falling out of my world. BUT....once we moved in and got my favourite things unpacked, it started to feel like home.

Moving is always stressful and unsetling but you'll be fine once you're fully in and have your things about you.

M@ said...

I've got something for you to pack. Oh, I'm sorry, that doesn't even work as a double entendre.

I'm glad you're still alive, though.

sirdar said...

You must be a pile of nerves right now. The emotions are going rampant what with the move and the building scare. Hope you can keep it all together.

I actually liked my last house better than the one I'm in. Ours has a charm but it is too small. However, our yard is 7 acres and that beats a city lot any day.

Hope things calm down and the move goes without a problem.

The Rotten Correspondent said...

You poor thing. That's just too much.

Award at my place...

dailypiglet said...

oh man, i got scared as i was reading this and was very happy to find out there was no damage to your building.

i can relate to your sadness about leaving, i think it is very valid and a part of the process of what you are doing. it doesn't mean you aren't "grateful" for the new home, grieving is natural. even over a house :)

OneCowgirl said...

Moving is hard ...physically and emotionally! I did a bucket list on my blog - got the idea from you - it was interesting seeing the folks I tagged answers though the whole process was time consuming! Glad your building was on fire. Enjoy your new house - it will seem as comfortable as the last with TIME

Bond said...

WOW... so happy the building was not on fire...

As far as the leaving the old home...well, it is because it is your home now...the new place is still a house because you have not turned it into your home yet...

but slowly it will become home and memories will be born within it's walls and you will embrace it as much as you have the old home...

You will never forget the old one, but the new one will be your darling...

Kaytabug said...

I am so glad that your business was NOT on fire!! How nerve racking for you.
I really understand every feeling you are having in regards to moving. It is so tough. I am just repeating what most have said already, once you get your pictures up and have your favorite things around you it will start to feel like home. Your old home will always hole a special place in your heart and memories.
I think you might want to consider moving the "grungy" couch with you. It will be like a security blanket until you don't need it anymore.

Melissa said...

Hey Tiffany!

I'm glad your business was okay. What an awful feeling that must have been.

I know how you feel about the house thing. We are moving later this year, and I'm feeling like a total traitor to this house (about which I have done little but complain for three years). Sigh. I plan to take my crappy couch with me, too. :)

Pamela said...

sympathy pains here. (but jealous pangs, too --)

Maybe something will happen to you like it did to Karmyn when she moved --- and the house slammed the door at her when she left.

Claudia said...

As everyone said...glad everything was ok! But I totally understand that feeling of sadness leaving a house, especially when you've lived there for so long.

Tiggerlane said...

I could have sworn I had responded to these comments - sorry guys!

sandy - yeah, we were VERY lucky. And more boxes are finally packed - and I'm TRYING to breathe! Thanks!

willowtree - thanks for the input. I'm really scared, but Roger and Amber are so happy - and I will have a DISHWASHER, for the first time in 14 years, so maybe that will help. I think knowing we built it just for us will help.

karmyn r - me, too! I think it was a cheap fix. And 100% IN will feel good - now I'm half out of this place, and half in the new one, and I feel homeless.

chrisb - I hope you're right. I have wanted this for so long - be careful what you wish for, right? I was pretty shakey and panicked on that drive...

aoj & the lurchers - thanks for the encouragement. I think part of the problem is not knowing where to put my "pretties," and all the walls in BOTH homes are now bare.

m@ - I knew I could count on you for a laugh!

sirdar - thanks for the well wishes - I AM stressed, and I'm about to get my Valium refilled! I've used more of my scrip in the last two weeks than in the whole last two months!

the rotten correspondent - thank you!! And I'll take a pat on the head, any day!

dailypiglet - thanks for helping me feel sane. Roger and Amber aren't sad at all - I was beginning to think I was crazy!

onecowgirl - I think you're right - maybe one good Christmas, or a few good parties, and it will be home again.

bond - thank you for your words of encouragement. How in the heck do people buy and sell houses? I have a whole new appreciation for my business!

kaytabug - one of my friends has dibs on the grungy couch - but you're right about the photos. I think that will be the one thing that will make a HUGE difference - if I can figure out where to put them!

melissa - glad I'm not alone! I feel like I'm abandoned a friend, which is odd - b/c like you, I've cursed the quirks that make living here a pain in the ass. SO GOOD to see you!

pamela - thanks for the giggle! I've always wondered if my house here was possessed...

claudia - thanks for the understanding...maybe it will just take time. Lord knows I have a lot of blood, sweat and tears in the new place - I plan to have a party SOON to help break it in.

theotherbear said...

I'm so glad your building didn't burn down!

bermudabluez said...

OMG! I am SO relieved everything turned out well and everybody and everything is safe. Thinking of you, Tig, rough time you are going through. I think the new home will get comfy...just takes a little breakin in that's all!!

Birddogswife - Shauna said...

Wow Tigger! Wish I had been here more to support you.
I know what you mean about the old couch. We have one that looks pitiful but I love it still! It's so comfy! Bud wants to take it to college with him.
Hope your nerves are getting better - I can't imagine how it would feel.

wolfbaby said...

Really glad to hear your work building was ok... as for the moving.. yeah it's hard.. i hope you settle into it happily soon!!

Tiggerlane said...

theotherbear - me, too - it would have put me over the proverbial edge, I think.

bermudabluez - you are so right - I am ready to be past this point. It will happen, I know...just takes time.

birddog's wife - shauna - hey! Glad to see you are still out there! And yeah - I think after this week is over, things might settle down a bit and everthing will be okay.

wolfbaby - thanks so much for the well wishes - the next few days will be the most difficult. I just hope I stay well enough to move or be moved!

Desert Songbird said...

Just catching up - so glad your building was fine. As to the move, I think your feelings are very understandable. You built a life in this home; that makes it difficult to let go.

Tiggerlane said...

desert songbird - thanks! I still have treasures at the old home - so I'll be visiting it every day for a while, and mourning the loss. The new house is pretty cool, tho...I could get used to it!