Monday, May 04, 2009

Fun Monday - Yeah, I'm BACK! Well, Sorta...

It's Fun Monday! And Karisma is our gracious hostess! I had to do a "repeat" because I'm still a little behind on my blogging, but this is my vow to return, once and for all! Our task was to share a "funny, silly or just downright cute story about your pets or your children." I'm not sure my story fits ANY of those categories, but here goes:

It began as a joyous occasion, my executive secretary's 80th birthday. This is a woman for which I have the utmost respect, as she has been dutifully keeping my books and cutting checks to pay my bills, as she did for the previous owner. She is more than a secretary - she's like a second mother, who thinks nothing of admonishing me for spending too much money, or giving me a good-natured slap on the ass when I say something off-color.

At the end of her party, she gave me a flower arrangment, adorned with balloons and beautiful curly string. It is for this reason that I secretly resent her. See this innocent looking feline? Well, I could have throttled her with my bare hands. I knew well enough to place the bouquet of flowers on a high surface when we went to bed that evening. What I forgot is the ability for Whiskas to leap upon tall furniture in a single bound.

When Roger and I awoke the next morning and stumbled into the kitchen to retrieve that life-saving first cup of coffee, our bare feet slipped on something. "What the heck is THAT?" we wondered, sleepily. After turning on the light - we noticed brown streaks on our white floor. Not only in the kitchen, but across the bathroom floor as well. Seems as if Whiskas discovered the curly string, ingested it in a frenzied moment of play, and spent the rest of the evening attempting to remove it from her intestinal tract by alternately scooting her bottom across the floor and sharting.

After many expletives were hurled, we rectified the mess. Time to rectify the cat. Upon inspection of her puckered exit, we discovered a lovely, brown-stained curl of ribbon portruding from her anus. Remember those Chatty Cathy dolls? Much the same effect can be achieved by holding down a cat and pulling curly string out of her ass.

Now go visit the other participants!

17 comments:

Hootin' Anni said...

OMG...omg. What a hoot.

HAPPY FUN MONDAY.

Alta said...

OMYGOSH
Is the cat ok?
Yuck on the floor.
I listen to my hubby sometimes as he describes cat puke in the wee hours of the morning. I think - would it be better to step in the slimmy mess if it were still warm or cold. LMBO

Sayre said...

**Snort** I've had to do the "Chatty Cathy" bit with my cats too - what is it about string and ribbon that is so irresistable?

Bond said...

OK, I guess it is my fault for reading this while eating lunch!!!

Pamela said...

I was eating my lunch when I started reading this. shivers...

that cat doesn't look like a nuisance at all lying there so peaceful!

Karmyn R said...

AAAAAAAAAAACK. Poor cat - poor you!

Junebug said...

Ooh! I had to pull a thingy out of my cat's rear once too. It is more than gross. They sure do skit around fast when they've got attachments. :D

The Church Lady said...

That is one heck of a story! Cats are so amusing. ROFL....

karisma said...

OMG! How gross! I was expecting a mess of the arrangement not the poor cat! Thanx for joining in.

Rayne said...

Ha! So funny! Aren't cats wonderful? When my husband I were first married we adopted two cats. That Christmas we learned a valuable lesson about cats and tinsel. Not a good thing. Haven't used tinsel since.

Bobbie Leigh said...

Hi- I came over from Karisma's post. That story almost made me spit out my Diet Dew. How funny, yet I feel so sorry for the cat! LOL!

bermudabluez said...

OMG! This had me roaring!!! But .... hell of a way to wake up in the morning!! I have had cats so I can relate to this story. Hope the kitty is feeling better today.....

Peter said...

Just for once I'm so glad there were no graphic photos!!!

Desert Songbird said...

Great, Tiff, that was a visual I did NOT need!

King of New York Hacks said...

Sharting....we are all guilty of it at one time in our life. LOL

Kila said...

LMAO!

I fear a cat wouldn't last long around here.

Tiggerlane said...

Hootin' Anni - Thanks! I missed you guys!

Alta - the cat was fine, and ugh...I would prefer cold, given a choice!

Sayre - It's fun to play with, but WHY do they have to EAT it?

Bond - hope you have a strong tummy!

Pamela - she takes that posture when it's bedtime - on TOP of me. Grrr...

Karymn R - actually, it was more my poor hubby who had to deal with it!

Junebug - LOL! Sometimes, my daughter likes to adorn the cat's tail with a bit of tape...just for fun...

The Church Lady - I'm finding out that puppies are, too!

karisma - LOL! Always like to surprise.

Rayne - another hint - don't use those icicles, either.

Bobbie Leigh - no worries, all flower bouquets are not suspended six feet in the air, for her protection!

bermudabluez - she is just fine!

Peter - I was too busy retching to hold the camera still.

Desert Songbird - just close your eyes, and think of the ocean...

King of New York Hacks - that deserves a blog post, all its own!

Kila - three boys + one cat = big trouble