Wednesday, June 21, 2006


It began as a joyous occasion, the celebration of my executive secretary's 80th birthday. This is a woman I have the utmost respect for, as she has been climbing the stairs to her office in my buiding for over 17 years, dutifully keeping my books and cutting checks to pay my bills, as she did for the previous owner. She is more than a secretary - like a second mother, who thinks nothing of admonishing me for spending too much money, or giving me a good-natured slap on the ass when I say something off-color.

At the end of her party, she gave me one of her flower arrangments, adorned with balloons and beautiful curly string. It is for this reason that I secretly resent her. See this innocent looking feline? Well, I was ready to throttle Whiskas with my bare hands. You see, I knew well enough to place the bouquet of flowers on a high surface when we went to bed that evening. What I forgot is the ability for said feline to leap upon tall pieces of furniture in a single bound.

When Roger and I awoke the next morning and stumbled into the kitchen to retrieve that life-saving first cup of coffee of the day, our bare feet slipped on something. "What the heck is THAT?" we wondered, sleepily. After turning on the light - we noticed lovely brown streaks. Not only in the kitchen, but across the bathroom floor as well. Seems as if Whiskas discovered the curly string during the night, ingested it in a frenzied moment of play, and the spent the rest of her delightful evening attempting (to no avail) to remove it from her intestinal tract.

After many expletives were hurled, we rectified the mess. Time to rectify the cat. Upon inspection of her nether regions, we discovered a lovely, brown-stained curl of ribbon portruding from her anus. Remember those Chatty Cathy dolls? Much the same effect can be achieved by holding down a cat and pulling curly string out of her ass.


SongBird said...

LOL!!! Poor kitty!! I had to pull a piece of dental floss from my cat's rear one time.

Pioneer Woman said...

Eeeewwwwwwww. I wouldn't want to go through that.

Daily Piglet said...

OMG, poor kitty.

djmetronome said...

wow...that's all I got...just wow.

Humble Beginnings said...