Monday, February 27, 2006

I will survive! (hack, cough...)


Yes, Ladies and Gents, I made it back from my party weekend in Hot Springs, very much alive.

Much fun was had by all, and I got to dance in my heels, wear a formal gown, play pool, and breathe in copious amounts of second-hand smoke.

More to come, including photos. Just have to get back into the routine of things first!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Vote for Taylor

I admit it. I've become addicted to American Idol.

I've never watched the show before, but for some reason, I picked this season to jump on the pop-cultural-couch-potato-bandwagon. And I'm glad I did.

As a classically trained musician, and someone who grew up during what my husband calls the "Dark Ages of Music" (the '80s), I am NOT usually enthused when I see each year's crop of new talent. But every now and again, someone will come along who is incredibly unique and different.

That's why I'm rooting fervently for Taylor Hicks on American Idol. NOT the package you'd expect. Older, by pop music standards (29), grey-headed, quirky, with a voice that might have once belonged to a black man. When he plays the harmonica, you feel like he's been in prison - he really pours his soul into the music. When you watch him sing, you think of Joe Cocker. You can see his face literally change when he sings - you can tell music is running through his veins and making him crazy with emotion. Yes, he's a little rusty around the edges - but all he needs is a good agent, PR firm and some polishing - wait, that would ruin him.

Anyway, I'm actually going to vote. For change. For someone other than these plastic, commercial, dime-a-dozen, perfect-body, perfect-smile little pop diva wannabes. For someone who loves music, and actually has some talent to back it up. Join the movement.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Linkage Break

It will only be a matter of time before SOMEONE finds out if this is for real. Check it out (thanks, Gary)!

Ebay Mardis Gras Trip

Your opinions are welcome!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

More Linkage

Well, the weekend came and went, and I got wrapped up for too many hours playing Roller Coaster Tycoon 2. So, finally, here are more link facts!

Blurbomat is married to Heather from Dooce. He is much more calm - but speaks out on his blog about political insanity, Mac toys, photography, and general pop culture goodness. If you're into artsy photos, check out his and Heather's extra links. They are amateurs, but own some killer equipment that allows them to play with lighting and effects in amazing ways. The Armstrongs just returned from a trip to Amsterdam, so over the next few days, their blogs should feature some incredible photographs. Check them out!

Stuff on my Cat is a blog featuring a collection of photos sent in by folks all over the world. Photos of what? Yeah, you know. Now, if you're a rabid member of PETA or a twisted animal lover (you know the kind I mean), you might be offended at some of the content. Be assured, no cats are harmed to compose the photos on this site. Ever heard of kitty buckaroo? Where you stack items until the cat tires of your antics and bucks them off? Similar concept. This is one of my favorites, due to the expressions on the cats' faces. This site features categories of stuff on cats - including other animals.

And as a side note, an update on my "Grillz" post. Evidently, rappers aren't the only ones sporting the bling. My daughter informed me that the heavy goth metal bands often sport grillz made of only one type of tooth - diamond encrusted fangs. Want proof? Watch the latest video by Avenged Sevenfold. Or don't.

BTW, Happy VD to all you lovers out there. Here's your mascot (thanks Big!). May he rest in peace.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Links of Interest

In an effort to educate my readers, here's more info about the links in my sidebar. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. No, I'm not completely altruistic; I'm also trying out my new HTML skills(thank you, Mugsy!)!

1st up - PostSecret
This blog is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. Some of these are the typical "I'm cheating on my wife," or "I'm gay," brand of secrets, but some secrets are downright shocking, emotional and heartbreaking. An adult site, with new posts made every Sunday. One of the most popular blogs of 2005. Definitely worth checking out. My favorites ones are the funny ones, like this:

Well, now who hasn't done that from time to time! (HA! Don't all of you call DHS on me at once!)

2nd up - Dooce This is another "best of 2005" blog by former Mormon Heather Armstrong, who actually got fired for blogging about her job on her website. She is hysterical, and her tirades about motherhood and daily life make for great reading, often through tears of laughter. Also, I have a crush on her dog.

3rd - I should say BE WARNED before you check out Overheard in New York. New Yorkers are...well...lacking in Southern charm. These are actual conversations of New Yorkers, overhead (like you needed me to explain that to you). New Yorkers are very raunchy. Some are very raunchy in front of their children. You can greatly expand your urban vocabulary by visiting this site. You will be amazed at what conversations are had IN PUBLIC. Totally uncensored. My favorites are from the homeless, drunks and bums - fun for all!

You'll have to wait for the weekend for my explanations of the other choices. But something tells me, you'll get curious and click links before then. Explore!

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Grills (Grillz?)

It's official. I'm old.

I was watching MTV with my daughter this morning, and as I'm prodding her to eat her breakfast, a song came on about "Grillz." For those of you who are not 25 and under, the new thing (thang?) in bling (blang?) is teeth.
I remember actually giggling whenever I'd see someone with a big gold tooth in their head - especially if it was a front tooth. Sometimes there would be a diamond inlaid in said tooth. I also remember HATING my braces in high school. I despised having a mouth full of metal. Little did I realize how "before my time" I was.

The grill above will set you back $1,400.

Want something cheaper? Try these:

All the big rappers are into these. Has the world gone insane? What's more, there is a new shop, opening in FORT SMITH, ARKANSAS, if you can believe it, that sells Grillz!

One good thing I've learned is that these are not like porcelain veneers - your actual teeth are intact. These are put on much like Bubba Teeth - except that you have to mold your own teeth, make a cast, and send them to the jeweler so they can customize your grill.

And here I thought Mr. T. was a fool, with all that heavy metal around his neck. This makes T look Tame.

I have to think twice now when someone says they have meat stuck in their grill.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

CONTROVERSY!

I really wasn't going to comment on the Super Bowl. Really. But to hear Ben himself admit to David Letterman that he didn't think he got in the end zone --- well, I must say that I agree! Officiating kept the Seahawks from winning this game all around, IMHO. I was yelling at the tv, insisting that this wasn't a TD, but to no avail. Something tells me that there will be further referee ruckus around the ESPN circuit. As there should be.

Even though I feel like the Steelers deserved to take the trophy this year, I always root for the underdog. One reason I have a hard time with backing the boys from Pittsburgh is this man: The Great Earl Campbell. I grew up in a town outside of Houston, Texas. And some of my fondest childhood memories are of sitting in the Astrodome, watching the Houston Oilers play. I mean, look at the man's thighs, for goodness sake! Enough to make me feel thin at any weight. Yet, every time the Oilers would make a bid for greatness, they would face Terry Bradshaw and the formidable Steel Curtain. And lose. Four big losses in 1975 and a blowout in 1978 sealed the deal for me. Poor Earl never got that Super Bowl ring. And I never really got over my dislike for the Steelers. Those Texas boys weren't used to playing in snow - so I couldn't be mad at them!!

Btw, wanna know how to send me into a panic? Roger knows. He thought it would be cute to disconnect the cable, 30 minutes before the game. Real cute. I was on the phone with the cable folks, outside checking the lines, and just about to order the network stations on DirecTV, when he rolled his eyes and 'fessed up. He couldn't believe I was so anal. HA! When things foul up, trust - I'm the girl who gets things fixed.

For the record, my favorite commercials were the FedEx caveman, the Budweiser streaker, and The Little Clydesdale That Could.

Oh, and did I mention the highlight of Saturday night? The author of Controversy himself (remember this album?), Prince, took the stage and rocked SNL. Looks dang good for an old guy, too!

Friday, February 03, 2006

Brokeback Giggles

If you haven't seen "Brokeback Mountain," you've surely seen the previews. But have you seen the spoofs? Hehehehehe..... Okay, here's one for ya. I haven't figured out how to get this into my blog any other way than by giving you a link (neophyte, remember?) - so try this on for size:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfODSPIYwpQ

I'm giggling all over again!!!

For the "Top Gun" version, try this:

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/2006/01/barebacktopgun.html

The video is grainier, but the dialogue is much better!!

Let me know what you think!

Thursday, February 02, 2006

I Only Watch it for the Commercials (LYING!)

Only a few more days until the Super Bowl, and I'm waiting not-so-patiently! The bad thing (for my husband) is, I watch the event AND the commercials - so the chances of getting me off the couch during the whole 3-hour spectacular are pretty slim. Okay, I'll be racing in and out to refill my beverage, but beyond that - I won't leave the glow of the beautiful big screen in our living room. It's too bad (once again, for my husband) that he isn't the typical football-obsessed man. Opposites attract, they say.

As always, I'm hoping for some awesome commercials. Barring an August Busch, IV extravaganza, I'll settle for more featuring the Anheuser-Busch Clydesdales. One of my favorite commercial series featured Terry Tate, Office Linebacker. What I wouldn't pay to have someone like Terry in my office!! It would be a priceless addition. In case you're not familiar with Terry's antics, check him out at this link:

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2459171?htv=12

Just click in the green "watch" button to enjoy.

Too bad I'm not in a little better shape. I'd love his job!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Random Ramblings

It's a new month! And the Super Bowl is just around the corner! How exciting can life be? Mostly random thoughts today -- too much to cover in a short time!

First topic: State of the Union. Let me just start by saying that if you really want to listen to this address, don't watch it with my husband. He begins tamely with a few silent gestures, then launches into argumentative rants at the television. (All of which are justified, IMHO.) When Bush starts his "Winkin', Blinkin', Noddin'" antics, it's usually too much for Roger to bear - and he will make his escape into another part of the house.

Second topic: American Idol. This is the first year I have watched this show, and I have serious questions about my fellow man! Do none of these people sing for an unbiased group before assaulting the judges with their horrific sounds and antics? You'd think someone would approach these poor souls and tell them the truth - that they sound like various livestock being electrocuted, and their dance moves resemble seizure activity. Once again, I can't help but watch. It's one thing to rubber-neck a crash site, but these people voluntarily display their eccentricities - so it's open season.

Third topic: Movies. Amber (the kiddo) will go thru phases where she has to rent mass volumes of movies and force me to watch them with her. Luckily, this weekend didn't include anything such as "White Chicks." (I should get a Mother-Of-The-Year Award for having to endure that umpteen times.)

Amber likes a good horror flick, and this week's choice was "Carrie." I made the horrible mistake of renting the new version of this film, but it was actually more true to the book. Amber enjoyed it, but the lead actress was SO NOT Sissy Spacek. I found myself throughout the film telling Amber, "Oh --- well, Sissy Spacek did that MUCH better..." So now, we have to go back and rent the original.

We also got "Brothers Grimm," which was entertaining, but mildly silly. I enjoy Matt Damon (always do).

Then on to "The Exorcism of Emily Rose," which drug on in places and was terribly dark. I got bored - and it was a little "heady" for Amber. Basically, the directors wanted the viewers to leave the film asking questions about their own faith and the possibility of demonic possession. I just wanted to see someone's head spin around.

Finally, the best for last: "Crash." This was one of those films that was fairly unpredictable, with lots of twists and turns. My blood pressure went up during some parts - I shed tears during others. This is worth most of the hype associated with it, and I highly recommend seeing it. If for no other reason, to see Sandra Bullock be a bigot and a beeyoch.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Football and Shoes

Football and shoes. Two things I love dearly.

Football season is soon coming to an end, and this weekend's playoffs were nothing but affirmations of greatness for the Steelers and the Seahawks. Should make for an exciting Super Bowl - or at least let's hope! I'm looking for a long-overdue Super Bowl commercial featuring August Busch, IV as he should be - naked.

Until then, what is a girl to do? Buy shoes, of course!! With a little help from my friends on Saturday night (thanks Nic and Lance!), I gave in to the influence of my beverage consumption, and ordered some sweet shoes. I can't bear to pay $450 for Manolo Blahnik's, but these two will certainly do:

As a short girl (5'3"), I love a good excuse to buy heels. And I love that my profession allows me to dress in fine clothes (if I choose), complimented by fine shoes. Not to mention the opportunity I have to go out and hit a club every so often, or go to a fancy banquet. Even if I didn't have these blessings, I know I would still have to wear heels.

Typical comments: "How do you walk in those things?" "Don't those kill your feet?" "Doesn't your back hurt?"

Answers: Easy - with practice. And I've had years of it. It also helps to have good posture.
No, they don't kill my feet, because I'm smart enough to make sure I get them a size or half-size larger than I usually wear to avoid pain and squinched toes. (Squinched IS a word, right?)
And no, my back doesn't hurt. At least not from the shoes.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Another Tragedy

The mining families of West Virginia, you are in my heart.

Again.

Sigh.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Post Globes Observations

Ah...the Golden Globes did not disappoint!! Some of the dresses were FABU, including Kate Beckinsale, Natalie Portman, Kiera Knightley, Penelope Cruz, Scarlett Johannsson, Sarah Jessica Parker, and ALL the Housewives - every single one looked spectacular. Even a pregnant Gwyneth Paltrow looked wonderful. I'm still on the fence about Geena Davis. She's a seasoned actress, and has the courage to wear red head-to-toe. She's a big woman, but her guts to step out there in that ensemble score some points.

Now, Reese Witherspoon always looks great, IMHO; however, I have to give her bad marks for her dress. "Vintage Chanel?" Okay, I'll buy that. But she wore the same exact dress that Kirsten Dunst wore to the 2003 Golden Globes Focus Features party!!! The only thing worse is showing up at the same event in the same dress! Don't believe me? Well, here it is. Reese --- you have so much more class than the fugly Dunst. Shame on you. You should have done your homework. You do pull it off better than Kirsten - but two years does not vintage make.

Note to Drew Barrymore: wear a bra. Honey, you have nice large bazookas --- give them a little support.

Mariah Carey? Not one of my favorites. But HELLO?!? Side-boob AND armpit cleavage - all in the same dress! Not a flattering look.

And what with Mrs. Boobs? Pamela Anderson? They are a trademark! Wear them with pride! Bought and paid for! Don't hide them in a horrible-burial-shroud-black sheath. Please. It's one of the few reasons people look at you.

And Mrs. Johnny Depp SERIOUSLY needs to gain some weight.

No...I'm not jealous, thereby harping on the stars' clothes. I honestly believe that women with access to stylists, makeup artists, and the ability to afford ANY dress should certainly be expected to make good choices with those resources! So when they make bad ones, there really is no excuse for them.

As for the Housewives? Well, Felicity was the lone Globe-winner for her gender-bending role in a movie, and she looked anything but manly on this night. However, the show itself won --- notice anything familiar about this photo?
Yep - Ms. Sheridan is indeed holding the Globe again. Think they are intimidated by her? She did look smashing in her dress, and her date for the evening was a much-younger man. Kudos to her!

And, the poor Housewives lost the chance for an individual Globe to someone far more desperate. A housewife willing to do the unthinkable - sell marijuana! Mary-Louise Parker beat them all for her role on "Weeds." Maybe that will teach the Housewives to get a little more desperate next time!

Monday, January 16, 2006

Golden Globes - Pre Show Thoughts

Not a single football team I was rooting for won yesterday, so the only thing to do is move on to another favorite sporting event - AWARD SHOWS!!! Tonight it is Oscar-Lite, as the Hollywood Foreign Press Association gives us the Golden Globe Awards. Who will make an idiot out of themselves on the red carpet? Who will wear something more atrocious than Bjork? Who will get rip-roaring drunk and trip going up to the podium? Will Anna Nicole be there - and will she and Courtney Love have a contest to see who can be the most incoherent? I watch these things for the same reason I watch ice skating - the falls.

There aren't too many nominees I care much about. I think that has to do with the fact that I wait until many movies are out on DVD before I see them. Plus, this year we've got a gay cowboy movie (edgy! controversial!) and another musical life story (compelling! they do their own singing!), and well - it's almost a shoe-in as far as the winners. (Remember "Million Dollar Baby" and "Ray?") Not much suspense there. Hollywood loves that kinda stuff.

However, I DO watch the nominated show featuring these gals:
Funny thing - last year, the HFPA snubbed two of these ladies. The hottest one (Eva Longoria) and the bitchiest one (Nicolette Sheridan). This year, they've gone all out and only snubbed Nicolette. Notice who is holding the award in this photo from 2005? Nicolette. Maybe the others felt sorry for her. After all - she's not as prominently featured in the show, and the main purpose of her character seems to be aggravating the other housewives. Assuming they are all still getting along (who ever thought THAT would last?), I wonder - will the ladies let Nicolette hold the award if they win again this year? If one of the other four actresses wins an individual award, will we have one of those uncomfortable political speeches from the podium, denouncing the HFPA for discriminating against Nicolette?

And technically, only TWO of these ladies are housewives: Eva's character, Gabby; and Felicity's character, Lynette. Bree isn't technically a wife, since Rex's passing. Susan has always been an ex-wife. And then we're back to Nicolette's character, Edie, who has always been single. And Betty Applewhite (the new mysterious neighbor) doesn't have a husband that anyone knows about. So..."Desperate Women in Various Relationship Status'" might be a cumbersome, but much more accurate title!

More tomorrow - after the show! And don't worry, I'm still going to watch the playoffs next week. Just with less enthusiasm.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Puzzled by Eeyore


I need your help today!!

Last night, I was puzzled by something. Eeyore.

There's a friend of ours that I playfully refer to as "Eeyore," but I won't go into details as to why. Suffice it to say, I mean this as an endearment more than anything. This is a male friend, and up until last night, I always assumed that Eeyore was a male.

So it hit me - what's up with the pink bow on the tail? Now, Eeyore never put off any "gay" vibes, as far as I was concerned, and he definitely has a masculine voice - but could I be wrong?? Is Eeyore a gender-challenged male? A donkey in drag? Or merely an old female donkey that never got rid of that two-pack-a-day habit??

Then I got to thinking, one of Eeyore's biggest problems was that his tail kept falling off. Now, I have wondered about the cruelty of sticking his tail in with a big, fat nail - but considering his difficulty in maintaining tail attachment, I assumed it was the preferred method. However, now I'm wondering, was his body merely rejecting the overly feminine tail? Was some other donkey's tail mistakenly given to Eeyore at birth??

Help me out folks. I couldn't sleep too well last night, and I'm wondering if somehow I need closure on this!

Monday, January 09, 2006

Is Any Cake Better Than Sex?

Rats.

So, I AM a neophyte to this blog genre. I had a lovely rant about being bombarded at work by my staff - and POOF! It is gone, thru some technological idiocy on my part. But read the comments by whiterabbit after the "ants" post, and you might still get the gist of it.

Today's topic: Better Than Sex Cake

A lively little discussion ensued at the office last week about this delicacy. All I can tell you is that there seem to be a variety of recipes for this cake, so if you're looking for a satiation for your nether-regions from me, it won't be in the form of cake. The main thrust of my favorite version of this concoction involves chocolate and sweetened condensed milk.

I am a sweetened condensed milk whore, so this cake is right up my alley. I'm the person who cuts her tongue, every time she opens a can, trying to lick every last bit off the jagged lid. I even use one of my daughter's old baby spoons to get every last drop scraped off the sides of the can. (Not for the recipe, but so, once again, I can lick it.) Now, watching this act might make you think of sex, but can any dessert compare?

I've had sex that was worse than cake, for SURE. And I've tried this cake, with the sweetened condensed milk poured right over the top of it. But I think any dessert trying to make this claim is in for some big trouble. Especially for those who actually enjoy sex. You know who you are.

And don't get me started on that whole, "have your cake and eat it, too" bit. If I have cake, I eat it. Period.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Pet Peeves

Pet Peeves.

Ants.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

A Timid Toe Enters the Blog Pool

Okay, so I really don't want the world to know THAT much about me. Especially the 'net world, which seems populated with various sickos (much like my REAL world!) - but this seems as good as any outlet to vent my frustrations about things in general, and even if I'm the only one getting anything out of this, so be it.

Ah - a personal online diary. I can handle this! Maybe my daughter will read it and weep one day. At least I own my own company, so anything nasty I say about my job won't get me fired!

On to the topic of the day: as an Aggie who is extemely loyal to Texas A&M University, it was exciting to watch last night's game. Torn between rooting for a Texas team (having grown up in that lovely football state) and the USC Trojans (having family from So. Cal. and having been born there), I chose to root for USC. But I was tickled to receive this in my email box, and actually thought of getting one:

Now...do you think the Texas Longhorn fans would do the same for us Ags if WE made it to the Rose Bowl? I'm not sure.

Ags have a great heart, and to be honest, Vince and the boys deserved last night's win, even if they DID have a few plays (lateral-pass-with-one-knee-down) handed to them. Vince has true potential in the NFL - here's hoping he will go this year, and not risk getting injured and miss his chance in the big leagues altogether. Wonder if he and Reggie could both save the Houston Texans?
Now that the big game is behind us, saw varsity's horns off!!